I really can't. I almost forgot what today was.
Today is the date one of my he's test friends in the universe left me on earth.
How could I have forgotten that. And all day I felt a crumminess that I could not escape and th days events gust built up that I felt I was going to implode and when I saw the date, about 2 minutes ago, it just clicked. And understanding flooded through me followed by melancholy thoughts of her previous memorials.
And every year I find my self pining for her to be here so that we could get to know each other as adults and so that we can say that we were well seasoned with her life before we had it extracted from our grasp. And how I had just gotten my camera, I think that summer so I didn't even get a picture of her as a keep sake. And that I have she is safe. I would die if I knew she was suffering after all that she had been through.
If anything I hope God gave her for my sake a chance just incase she didn't dot all her t's and dot all her i's, because in her defense she was a child ( of God) even if she hadn't gotten to shout it to the world yet.
Nikki, I love you and always will miss you
Your Jess Jess
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